The Jordan River Parkway

What can I say about the Jordan River Parkway. It's a 50 mile paved trail near where I live in Utah. It's a popular trail, so you'll always see people there. I love this trail and because it is so close to my apartment, I'm usually on it several times a week either walking, running, or biking. But the trail isn't as innocuous as it appears to be. I decided I need to start documenting the things that have happened to me on this trail that are worth noting.

First the sprinkler malfunction. There I was biking to a nice tune on my iPod when suddenly a powerful burst of water struck me in the face. It caused me to steer suddenly off the path but I miraculously didn't fall over. I stopped in the grass and looked around for a stupid kid with a water gun near by. No kid but a park's sprinkler was sure to be the culprit. I watched it as it finished its revolving cycle and clicked back into that first position. Sure enough its was at the start of the sprinkler's revolving cycle that it shoots a stream across the bike path. It felt like fate. I was at the right place at the right time and at the right height for a direct hit like that. God I wish there was video of that.

Second was the head on bike collision. There's a few places on the trail that cause me to hold my breath when biking. Those places are the underpasses. And there's one that always causes me to tense up because the path noticeably narrows and upon exiting the underpass is a blind corner. I always told myself that one day I was going to plow into someone on that corner but never actually believing that it would happen. Someone else surely but not me. How naive of me. One Spring evening I decided to bike on the parkway rather than the treacherous mountain because I just wanted to enjoy a nice, easy ride. After a half hour into my ride I approach my favorite blind corner aaand BOOM! I saw a flash of blonde hair flipping over his handlebars but not letting go, causing his bike to follow his momentum. As result, his back tire hits me in the face knocking me off my bike and onto the pavement. We were both dazed but we both bounced back up. The kid wobbled to his bike mumbled an apology (maybe a curse) and took off. Thankfully my bike was built like a tank and survived the crash but I ended up with lacerations and bruises to the bridge of my nose and cheek. Turns out I would have been safer on the treacherous mountain.

Third was the great clown escape. Let me first say the Jordan River Parkway can get very congested at times and your once relaxing bike ride becomes a game of immense focus and strategy - Don't hit the citizens. Very stressful, especially when there's unpredictable children and dogs on the trail. But every once in a while you get lucky and get the Jordan Parkway all to yourself. One of those magical days happened recently. Given it was a hot day but I took that to my favor knowing a day like this would deter most people. MOST people. After about 45 minutes into my ride, I began to approach a park. I was probably 100 meters away when I noticed a person standing with his back towards the trail. I'm now 50 meters away. I can see he's wearing all black and what looked like a colorful wig. Strange. 20 meters away. He hears me coming and turns his head without turning his body. I start to slow down, unsure of the situation. Less than 10 meters away he suddenly turns around fully while jumping in the air. I STOP. Holy shit this guy is wearing a murdering clown mask. I don't have an innate fear of clowns but I suddenly hated the fact that I hadn't seen a single other person during my entire ride. We stared at each other for probably a few seconds but what felt like minutes.  Suddenly he bolts for me in a bizarre run while hollering like a possessed Indian. All aboard U.S.S. NOPE. I pivot around my planted foot into a 180 and took off like my life (quite possibly) depended on it! My adrenaline fueled body pedaled faster than I've probably ever biked. After several minutes past, I ease down and start to think..."the hell just happened? Was that real?" I remembered there was a brief craze going on in several countries last year where people dressed as clowns were terrorizing people. But that craze had ended months ago. Who the hell was this late bloomer! Then I started thinking about how hot it was outside and how hot I had become. Did I hallucinate a clown? Am I having a heat stroke? Not likely. Then I start wondering what I should do. Should I alert the authorities? Was this guy mentally deranged who's actual intent was to harm me? What if he hurts some other unsuspecting sap? Or was I just the victim of a prank? Am I going to end up on a viral youtube video later looking like a twat? So many questions, and no answers...Never a dull moment on the Parkway! 

Blunt Talk

I hope this series is as good as it looks. It's not the story that intrigues me so much as the rambunctious, irreverent behavior of Walter Blunt played by the typically erudite, mannerly Patrick Stewart. If Blunt was played by any other actor this show wouldn't even be on my radar.

Godzilla's Compelling Return

One of these years they should have a category for "Best Trailer" at the Oscars. It's an important segment in the movie process. Sometimes, pivotal to a movie's success. The latest trailer that's been generating a lot of buzz is this captivating, gorgeous, masterful 2 1/2 minute piece for Godzilla.

When I first saw this trailer I was in awe. My wide eyes, emphatic grin and goose pimpled flesh was proof of that. Now I can't stop hitting the replay button. It's just fantastically chilling. Opening with a terrifyingly-brilliant vibrato score, a high ranking soldier informs a small militant squad about a perilous mission which they will enter via halo jump. The paratroopers leap out of the plane, plummeting through thick clouds with their red smoke trailing behind them. The viewer is drawn in even more when the scene takes on a falling squad member's point of view. As the clouds break away we discover the soldiers are descending upon a war zone: a burning San Francisco. Then out of the smoking plume we see those unmistakable spikes of our favorite monster of mass destruction.

Hauntingly beautiful artistry

The first half to this trailer is simply stunning. The rest reveals a montage of exciting clips from the movie including more chaos, destruction, heavy military action, and what looks like some powerful performances (ahem, Bryan Cranston anyone?) 

I honestly can't stop talking about this movie amongst anyone who has a pair of ears. This is how a trailer is done. When a trailer ends you shouldn't feel stuffed like after a 3 course meal. You give the viewer just a taste, thus making them yearn for more. I believe this movie will be an epic win, high grossing, and certified fresh. 

For more Godzirra! action, check out Trailer 2 

Coco Loco

If you're not sure, the white freckled guy's the cure

Conan O'Brien has been and always will be my favorite TV personality (sorry Colbert.) I've been an avid fan since his Comedy Central days. Although I enjoy his recurring characters like Triumph and the masturbating bear, none of them can surpass the best character of them all: Conan himself. He's a unique comedy cocktail blend that belongs in a category by itself. He's like a cartoon character with his lanky figure, untamable hair, spontaneous gestures, fearless wit, and wild energy. He knows this too, as he often pokes fun of himself. Anyone else who attempted to copy cat his hosting style would ultimately fail and be deemed a pariah. It can't be done because there's only one Conan O'Brien.

People might criticize his hosting style as rather weird and idiosyncratic...Now I could snap in his defense, "How dare you insult his excellence!" but I'm not because I happen to agree. However, I see that as a positive attribute, not a negative. It's part of the beauty of Conan; his unfailing ability to be silly. Those who put a negative label on words like weird and abnormal are just a bunch of bleating sheep, who can't fathom the idea of going against the crowd. I admit I sometimes fall victim to this sheepish behavior when it pertains to my own life. It's easier to blend in with everyone; there's a lower risk of humiliation. Perhaps that's why I've always been more attracted to that comical, quirky side in people because it takes courage. Well, let me be honest, weird is good in doses. You don't want to embrace it like a madness or you might be spurned as a deranged, creeper.

I could be having the worst day of my life, but if I were to watch a clip of Conan O'Brien, I would be in high spirits again. There's simply too many favorite bits for me too list them all but I'll He's generally amiable and mannerly on his show but my favorite Conan moments are when he unveils his darker side and delivers unto us "Mean Coco." He's the pretentious, self-important boss to his employees. He's the cruel, hick-hating friend to Jack McBrayer. His mock feud with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert is simply legendary. And I enjoy nothing more than his petty quarrels with Andy Richter. You can identify who he has a strong rapport with on his show, since it is with these people that bring out my favorite character in him. We don't see enough of mean Coco in my opinion, but maybe that's a good thing. It makes the rare occurrence all the more delightful and entertaining.

Aside from his goofy persona, he also regularly demonstrates charisma and humility that is unparalleled by other television personalities. His character was put to the real test 3 1/2 years ago in regarding to the whole Tonight Show debacle. I can easily go off on a ceaseless rant about this but I'll keep it concise for both our sakes. Awarding O'Brien the Tonight Show only to take it away from him after seven months was a tasteless, egotistical act by NBC and Leno. Conan deserved more respect. But Conan proved to us yet again with his heart-felt and admirable goodbye from the Tonight Show, that he is nothing but an inspiration and a real class act.

Basically how I look when someone tells me they don't like Conan. 

Say My Name

My tribute to an illustrious show

Can you believe it all ends tonight? I don't think I've ever been more emotionally invested in a show than the final season of Breaking Bad. And that's saying a lot. Recently, I watched an episode from season 1 and it was hard to believe that these characters were once friends and loving family members. 

Walter White's descension and Heisenberg's ascension throughout the seasons was an incredible ride and one to be remembered. Now it all comes to an end but who will come out on top? Other's I know personally think he deserves the worst for all the hell he's created. I oddly keep finding myself rooting for Walt. This was a middle-aged Chem teacher with no criminal past that elevated himself to become a notorious drug king pin within a year's span. I can't help but respect that feat. Though he may not have the heart capacity of dear Jesse Pinkman, he still has a heart. So I find it disheartening to see him loose everything, especially to some unprincipled Neo-Nazis.

  

"It can't all be for nothing."

We sadly live in an age where originality is becoming increasingly scarce. So I salute Vince Gilligan for creating a story line so elegantly original with such intriguing characters. We're going into a finale where the ending is really anyone's guess. I find this unpredictability refreshing because of its rarity in television today. I don't doubt the end will be satisfying. Bittersweet, but satisfying.

Game of Thrones

"I'm honest. It's the world that's awful."

I finally got myself to watch Game of Thrones and all I can say is why in hell did it take me so long! And now I'm fuming that I have to wait till January 2014 for the next season. I'm really impressed with HBO. The level of detail in this show is astounding for a television series. Can you imagine if they tried to turn these books into movies? So many savory details we would have missed. I love the complex dynamics of all these characters. It's a dog eat dog world in this series, where anyone can die and anyone can become the villain or hero, regardless of what you may think. In general, I've always been fascinated with villains more than heroes but my favorite type of character is an antihero. So my favorite character is Sandor Clegane aka The Hound. He's a tall, scar-faced, bad ass killer with a soft spot for the Stark girls. But despite how strong he is, he's not invincible, he has vulnerabilities - specifically his debilitating fear of fire. Happens when you get your face shoved in burning coals as a kid. I honestly can't predict what will happen to him or what he'll do next. I can go on and on about the series. Tyrion Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark, John Snow, all such good characters. But for the love of the Old Gods and New, someone please kill Joffery.

Smaug

"A most specially greedy, strong, and wicked worm."

I thought I'd bring a little life to the Rankin-Bass cartoon Smaug. The 1977 Hobbit cartoon was one of my favorite movies as a kid. But the colors were dull, muddy and flat. So I added more color, shadows, and highlights. I'm also a total geek for all of Peter Jackson's LOTR/Hobbit films. Can't wait to see what they do with Smaug in the next chapter this winter.

The Capo di tutti capi of serial killers

 My homage to the best show on tv.

Eat the Rude

And best movie.

Love your suit

Crisis (Nearly) Averted

So last week I was walking in the woods when I nearly stepped onto some dog poo. But I was able to catch my foot in time and change its trajectory. Feeling proud of my quick thinking I began to strut with my head held a little higher. But TWISTED FATE my friends, for seconds later a damn bird flew by and excreted on my shoulder. I was meant to get feces on me that day. It's like that movie Final Destination, where those kids cheat death but death hunts them down anyways. 

Only mine was shit........I smell a new MOVIE franchise on the horizon... 

Ya, I'm a dude in this story. Male's are just easier to draw. Just imagine boobs and hair.

Binge Responsibly, Kids

I'm ready.

I collaged and photoshopped some magazine/news paper clippings I found to help any inexperienced binge watchers

While we're on the subject of Arrested Development, I designed this card for a friend, a fellow AD fan. At the time I didn't have my computer so I had to do everything by hand. I'll upgrade it to a digital painting eventually. I found my idea mighty clever to be perfectly blunt.

A seal would never attack a human. Unless, of course, it had acquired a taste for mammal blood.

Evil Incarnate

Allow me to recount last night's events...

I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to watch a show on my phone. I'm starting to drift off at around 2am when horror struck. SHELOB strutting in front of the only light source in the room and 3 inches from my FACE. My fight or flight response chose flight. 

I screamed, I flipped, I rolled, I panicked.

Heart rate 300 BPM and lying on the floor, I then saw the beast crawling on my wall. I summoned the courage to trap it under a cup and flushed satan's spawn down to its watery grave. Suffice to say, I didn't sleep to well after that freak show. Every 10 minutes I was swatting at something because I was convinced its god damn family was prowling near by. 

Went down like this ↓

No exaggeration on the spider size. But keep in mind this isn't Australia's house of horrors. So don't expect a foot long spider in this account...thank god.

I asked my family the next day if they heard me screaming. They didn't. It's comforting to know that if I'm murdered in my sleep my screams won't disturb their slumber.

Preston &Steve's CARDBOARD CLASSIC 2013

Best Radio Show on the planet. And the best fans.

http://www.wmmr.com/shows/preston-and-steve/

GADZOOKS!

Another cold day at Jack Frost Boulder. But of course its always worth it!

Lets go Flyers!! 

Nick Mcilwain

Save the TATA's

For a second I thought a bunch of naked men jumped out of that box

Autobot 

Gotta love those sleds with the inside jokes to the show  

Kathy admiring the sled dedicated to her "box"

The epic Tiki Bar: 1st Place sled

Cardboard, glue, tape, string, paper

50 man team

My boys! Preston and Steve! What can I say, they're our local celebrities. Its always exciting to see them in person

And I was so CLOSE to getting my picture takin with STEVE. But as I was yelling out to him he was walking away. God Damnit!! I'll get him next time.

Do you really think anyone goes down the slopes in those flimsy sleds sober? 

And the ever fabulous Pierre Robert. Always so easy to spot in a crowd.
No sled injuries this year. Too bad, those are always the best. Especially when it involves a radio host like last year. You live to see another cardboard classic my man

some vids (watch them in HQ)

Casey (and I think Nick) aboard the Price is Right sled

Preston aboard the Flyer sled

Pierre aboard the Tiki Bar sled

Alternative Photo Class: Cyanotypes

Cyanotype was probably my favorite process and same with most of the classmates. The cyanotype printing process gives you what you'd expect - a cyan-blue print.  You mix potassium ferricyanide and ferric ammonium citrate to make a light sensitive solution. Then you'd coat it on some thick paper. Then we would use a digital image, which we turned into black and white and a negative in photoshop first, and then printed it on a transparency.  Place the negative on top of the (dry) light sensitive paper and expose for about 20 minutes in a UV light table or outside (Sun works too).  Remove the negative and wash your newly exposed paper in a tray with running water for 30 minutes and you have a cyanotype!

negative

the Kalmar Nyckel ship (unaltered) cyanotype

You can also alter the colors in your cyanotype with other solutions like Vinegar, tea, ammonia, hydrogen peroxide, etc. to get different effects.  This London print was toned with tea and Ammonia, intensifying the colors and producing more of a navy blue.

Don't have to limit your options to paper - you can also print on fabric.
Why not make that boring white throw pillow or white t-shirt into something more desirable with some cyanotype. 

detail
see, it is fabric

You can also make photograms with cyanotype which can look pretty cool too.  I didn't do this but check some out on the internet.  Instead of a negative image you just place objects on top of the paper like a plant or jewelry and after washing you get their silhouette images left.

I definitely want to buy a cyanotype kit. This is really fun and easy to do. I'm thinking the Legge cyanotype, X-mas card is gonna get a leg up on all our friends cards this year. 

Alternative Photo Class: pin hole

This semester I took Alternative Photography where we learned how to make: pin holes, cyanotypes, gum oils, and inkjet transfers.  Our first project was the pin hole camera. I still don't quite get how it works but somehow it happens.  Its basically a light tight box with a small hole in one side - and voila you have a camera. Here's a simple diagram explaining the theory.

This was my camera that I constructed from a deck of cards. Its the dimensions of a tissue box, though it is not actually one.  Its held together with duct tape, electric tape and popsicle sticks. The top comes off so you can slide in some photo paper in the back to print your image. And its light sensitive paper so you do all this in the dark room. The little hole in the aluminum is my aperture and the Ace of Spades is my shutter which slides up and down through a slit in the top.

detail image

 This was a 4 minute exposure. Then you take it to the dark room, take the paper out and develop it. It first comes out as a negative and backwards.

Then with an enlarger and some fancy tricks you get a positive image.

So a simple box camera produced this photograph...Makes total sense right??

join the club

Moonrise Kingdom

Mr. Bishop: "My daughter has been abducted by one of those beige lunatics!"

This movie had me at Khaki Scout Troops of North America.  A very different movie which drew me in immediately for that factor.  Everything was amazing about this movie: imagery, characters, dialogue, story, cast, and music.  In my opinion, there's nothing more appealing than dysfunctional characters, which happens to be everyone in this movie. Normal is boring and wEirD is compelling.

The Sam Shakusky search party

It was melancholy but heartwarming, funny as hell, and shocking ("She stabbed him with lefty scissors!") Best part of the movie was definitely the khaki scouts. The pack of 12 year olds were basically like elite soldiers, acting beyond their years. Even better was Scout Master Ward played by Edward Norton (Ward:"Scout Master’s log. September second. First day of search party for Sam Shakusky. Morale is extremely low, in part, I suppose, because Sam is, unfortunately, the least popular scout in the troop, by a significant margin.") I gotta admit it was really funny to see Bruce Willis play this sad, incompetent cop rather than the John McClane superstar cop he normally portrays. I downloaded the soundtrack yesterday and this movie is going down on my Ex-mas list. I can't wait for Wes Andersons next movie. I didn't think it was possible for him to top Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou buuuut I'm gonna have to say he did with Moonrise Kingdom. What the what!

"Giminey cricket, he flew the coop!"

Miscellaneous Photos

I was clearing out some junk on my laptop and found a miscellaneous folder where I've stored random photos I've found on the internet on. This must have been before I discovered Pinterest. I have to share some of these photos because they are hilarious:

Classic Leo

That's the American way

But we're America damnit! And we'll do whatever the hell we want no matter how retarded it might be! 

The malevolence...

I remember that earthquake like it was yesterday. The earthquake I didn't feel because I was busy deflating 30 rubber, shock absorbing, water tubes! COME ON

Probably the greatest photo. Ever. 

Its the simply things in life you treasure

Holy Batman!

This was an ACTUAL ad for an ACTUAL product back in the day. There's nothing like that memorable date when you meet a good looking, charming man, who's polite and pays for your meal.  Then he invites you back to his place and then you see THIS on his wall.  If this doesn't immediately raise any red flags in a girls mind and doesn't get out of his creepy basement ASAP, then she deserves to die. He might as well plaster the words "Hey I'm a serial killer - YOUR NEXT."

What everyone's thinking when they're caught alone in the dark

 "You can experience how disadvantaged a T-rex must feel" - was actually the first thought that came to my mind, oddly enough. Yes technically, the dino does have arms, but come on, with arms so small in proportion to the rest of the body they might as well be non existant.

I'm baffled on how accurate this is. This also applies to my last semester of college.

We all sort through our societal problems in our own special ways. Combine retailers loaded prices with our economy today, a new pair of jeans just might be worth killing for.

Dear god, I always wondered what I found so appealing in those post-apocalyptic movies. Simplicity, simplicity, SIMPLICITY. I'm grateful for the numerous opportunities and privileges the United States provides (there's my Happy Thanksgiving plug in) but sometimes I feel like its too god damn much! My brain can barely keep up with me on a day to day basis. As soon as I start planning for the future and considering my innumerable choices, my brain wants to commit suicide. Sometimes I just want to move to a small habited island where currency is coconuts and daily naps in hammocks are required.